


Illuminae

by WordsBurnGold



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Angst, Dark, Fluff, M/M, References to Depression, light - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-05-16 23:45:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsBurnGold/pseuds/WordsBurnGold
Summary: This is a story about how the guardian of light learned to understand the darkness.





	1. One

_Earth_

            Oh Sehun was eleven years old when the darkness came. It crept up on him like a shadow at dusk. Only this one didn’t leave. It turned his sky, his ground, and all his world into a murky grey. As he grew older, Sehun forgot what colors looked like. He forgot about sunshine, and moonshine, and star shine. And he knew, that one day, he’d forget about himself too. That would be the day he’d be swallowed up in darkness.

 

_Aether_

            It was always bright up in the clouds, and that was mostly Baekhyun’s doing. Even at night, he’d allow the moon and the stars to shine like diamonds. Every morning he’d sprinkle sunshine over the tops of clouds, he’d lace the sun’s rays in gold and he’d allow them to wash the newly awakened earth in delicate light. Then he’d make his way down from the sun back to the council room on Aether, where every day the guardians would hold a meeting. Some days the meetings were nothing more than an excuse for Junmyeon, keeper of the seas and rain, to nag Baekhyun for making the moon too bright some nights. _You have to stick to the moon cycle, Baekhyun. We made it for a reason,_ he’d say. And Baekhyun would just nod and promise to do better next time. Other days, the meetings were urgent. There would be a problem that needed to be fixed, and Junmyeon would appoint those capable to fix it. Today was one of those days. When Baekhyun entered the grand council room, everyone else was silent and seated. Baekhyun was usually the last to arrive due to his job of changing out the moon and sun, and on normal days when he would enter the room, everyone would be talking. Chanyeol would be arguing with Minseok about how he could make a fire so ruthless it would melt every single one of Minseok’s frost storms before they even left the clouds. Junmyeon, and Jongdae would be working on the next thunderstorm. Lightning and rain always fit so well together. The room would be bursting with magic. Today though, there was no talking. No fire and ice, no brewing storms. Just silence. And as Baekhyun made his way to his seat, everyone’s eyes followed. Before he could inquire about the day’s meeting to Jongin, Junmyeon made his way into the room. His face was full of concern as he stood in front of the group of guardians, and when he parted his lips to speak, his eyes met Baekhyun’s, “There’s a problem on earth.”

 

_Earth_

            Sehun’s Monday was like every other Monday in the history of Mondays. He got up at 7:30 sharp, brushed his teeth, made a hearty breakfast of Frosted Flakes, and left for school. Only, today, he didn’t go to class. He rode the train longer than usual, passed his usual stop, and got off at the stop right across from the city’s Botanical Garden. The day was rainy and grey, not very different from all the days Sehun had been living recently, and the garden was empty. The emptiness was fine with him. It was the reason he came here. This was the place he could run to when he needed to think or, at times, to not think at all. Here he didn’t have to answer to anyone. He didn’t have to keep up reputations or expectations. He didn’t have to wish to be someone else or be somewhere else. In the garden time stopped, and that’s all Sehun really wanted.

            The truth was, Sehun wasn’t happy with himself. He lived in a great apartment, went to a great school in a great city, had great friends and a family that supported it all, so why wasn’t he happy with it? He had no reason not to be. But instead of studying and learning and experiencing, here he was, sitting in a garden letting time pass him by. Letting the world go on around him and not even attempting to join it.  It had been like this for as long as he could remember. When he was a child he excelled in everything he did. His parents praised him endlessly and offered him more opportunities to succeed. But after every time he did, he was never happy with himself. Something was missing. Something left him a long time ago, he just didn’t know what and he didn’t know why. It left him with a hole that kept getting bigger and bigger as he grew and he didn’t know how to stop it. There was always just too much. Too much he had to be, too much he had to do, too much he knew he wouldn’t be able to reach but had to try anyway. The only thing that gave him any sort of solace was slipping away for a bit. So that’s what he did. A couple Mondays a month, Sehun would slip away to the garden and wish he could disappear for real.  Here in the garden, he didn’t have to be anything, and that’s all Sehun really wanted.

 

_Aether_

 

            “You all know very well that we can’t let things on earth get off balanced,” Junmyeon walked around the table of guardians as he spoke. “And if something threatens to throw off that balance, it is our job to fix it.” He was clearly very worried, and his nervousness was starting to rub off on everyone else. Everyone’s eyes were looking down at the table, and from the corner of his eye, Baekhyun could see Jongin nervously rubbing his hands together.

            “What’s happened?” Kyungsoo was the first to speak. As the guardian of strength and land, he always faced problems upfront and with a clear head. Kyungsoo was practical and dependable, just like the ground that nations were built upon.

            “Someone on earth is losing their light.” Junmyeon’s eyes were on Baekhyun again, and the moment the words left his lips, so were everyone else’s. “Baekhyun, we can speak about this matter after the meeting.”

            This was a first for Baekhyun. Problems on earth were usually elemental. Not enough rain, too many forest fires, ice caps melting, tropical storms. Problems that the elemental guardians could fix. Chanyeol, Minseok, Kyungsoo and Junmyeon were accustomed with restoring balance. Baekhyun, not so much. As the guardian of light, Baekhyun’s only real worry was raising the moon and sun at the proper times each day. When the world was new, before humanity grew, this was Baekhyun’s only duty. But as the world developed, as things evolved, as humanity thrived, his duties got more and more complex. Light wasn’t just celestial anymore. It had become anthropic too.

            After discussing other tiny things gone amiss on earth, Junmyeon ended the meeting and let everyone go about their daily tasks. Everyone except Baekhyun, that is. Before getting out of his seat to meet with Junmyeon, Baekhyun looked over at Jongin who gave him a small smile and a thumbs up. Jongin, the guardian of travel, always needed to be somewhere watching over something or someone. He was Baekhyun’s best friend and although their realms of rule never really intertwined, Jongin was always the first person to help Baekhyun with anything, “Don’t worry. I’m sure it’s nothing you can’t handle. You are a god after all.”

            After the council room was cleared, Junmyeon sat at the head of the table, and motioned for Baekhyun to take the seat next to him. He placed a file on the table and slid it over to Baekhyun, “This is everything you need to know about the person you’ll be helping.”

            Baekhyun opened up the folder and flipped through it’s contents. From what he read, the person in question is named Oh Sehun, he’s 23 years old, and he’s a university student. The file contained every piece of Sehun’s life. From birth up until now, and as he grew the file would too. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary to Baekhyun. He was born as every other human was, and he grew as every other child did. The only thing that stuck out to him were the color of the pages. From birth Sehun’s pages were a brilliant white, crisp and new, and full of opportunities for color to emerge. But once Sehun hit eleven years old, something changed. Where other humans had greens for health, reds for love, and yellows for happiness splashed across their pages, Sehun only had one color. Grey. From eleven years old onwards, Sehun’s pages were inked with grey, each page getting darker and darker as the years continued. Confused, Baekhyun looked at Junmyeon, waiting for any answer the leader could give him.

            “Soon, his pages will be so dark the words on them won’t be visible.” Junmyeon slid the file back from Baekhyun and tucked it away. “He’s losing his light, Baekhyun.”

            “He seems very sick.” Baekhyun’s voice was weary. He was still very much confused. “Shouldn’t this be a job for Yixing?”

            “Yixing can heal war-torn countries and regrow forests after a fire, but this is different. Yixing can heal physical things. He can bring health to material things. Sickness of the heart and mind, that’s all you Baekhyun.”

            Baekhyun’s stomach rolled. This was something he never expected to happen. Something he didn’t even know could happen, “I – I don’t understand. How am I supposed to help him?”

            “Happiness, sadness, good, and evil, there is light and dark within everyone Baekhyun. Humans are usually good at keeping this balance themselves with things like support systems of families and friends or things like art and music and literature, but sometimes there are people who, no matter how hard they try, can’t get better. Their darkness is too strong and that’s when problems occur. Problems we have to fix.”

            Baekhyun nods and Junmyeon continues, “I’m trying to stop it before it gets too big. I’m trying to help him before he becomes unreachable. Darkness brings one of two things, Baekhyun. Pain to others or pain to oneself.”

            “I understand what you’re saying,” Baekhyun feels uneasy. This is all so sudden. “But I still don’t know how I’m supposed to help him.”

            Junmyeon stood from his seat now, and handed the file back to Baekhyun, “You have to help him find light again. Help him restore the balance within himself. Show him that there is still good within him. Bring that light out.”

            Baekhyun nodded. This was bigger than he ever imagined. Raising the sun and moon seemed so simple compared to this.

            Placing a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder, Junmyeon assigned him with a mission, “I’m sending you to earth to restore the balance of light and dark within Oh Sehun.”


	2. Two

_Earth’s Boy_

            Monday returned to Sehun faster than he wanted it to. The day’s weather was picture perfect. Blue skies, fluffy clouds and a blinding yellow sun. Sehun shut his curtains and took comfort in the darkness that came along with it. Today he had to go to school. He tried to only slip away to the garden on grey days. A day like this was too pretty for people to pass up. The garden would be overflowing with couples and families all trying to soak in the sun before the next cloudy day came in. Pretty days meant that Sehun couldn’t disappear, so he went to school instead.

            He reached campus at exactly 8:10, just like he did every morning. And just like every morning, he headed straight for the library. Sehun didn’t actually have class until 10am on Monday mornings, but he liked to be out of his house as soon as he could, or else he’d crawl back in bed and not ever get up again. Monday morning libraries were almost as empty as cloudy day gardens, and Sehun was eager to get to his favorite seat by the window and try as best as he could to disappear. But when he rounded a corner of ceiling high bookshelves, he saw someone sitting in his seat.

            Unsure of what to do, he sat at the table across from his usual one. This one was more out in the open and people would have to pass him if they wanted to get to the computers. Sehun felt exposed, he felt visible. Putting his headphones in and scooting his chair to the furthest end of the table, Sehun tried to shrink. He tried to make himself small and unnoticeable as he buried his face in his textbook. Sehun needed time to be invisible. He needed to be somewhere else, if not for the whole day, then at least for the morning, before he had to go to class and interact with his classmates and professors and the world. The need to be everything at once crashed upon him like a tidal wave as soon as he had to join the world outside of his apartment or his garden sanctuary, and usually the library gave him a place to go when he needed a break from regular everyday life. But today, someone had found his space and taken it from him.

            “Sorry to bother you, but can you help me with something?” A voice whispered from somewhere above Sehun’s ears and he wasn’t too sure if the question was meant for him, so he ignored it.

            “Excuse me,” the voice came again, accompanied with a light touch to Sehun’s shoulder. So soft, he wasn’t sure if he was actually touched at all. “Hello?”

            Finally, Sehun decided to answer. He turned in his seat and looked in the direction of the whisper. There standing in front of him was the person who stole his seat. Or, at least Sehun thinks that’s who it is. The moment his eyes left his textbook, the room became brighter, like the sun decided to make it’s home inside. The room was so bright, he nearly had to squint to look at the person standing before him. He blinked a few times, and the light adjusted. Sehun swore he could see traces of gold shimmering into the person in front of him as the room took on it’s normal hue. Light flashed before his eyes so quickly, he wasn’t sure if he even actually saw it at all.

            “Hi, sorry to bother you, but I really need some help.” The boy tilted his head as he spoke to Sehun, and smiled a brilliant smile of pretty pink lips that revealed perfect white teeth. Sehun nodded in response, and the boy continued with his request, “I’m having trouble finding a book.” A piece of paper was outstretched towards Sehun and as he took it, the boy’s fingers bumped against his own. The feeling came again, lightness, air, almost nothing except a trace of electricity where their skin came in contact for the briefest of seconds. Shaking it off, Sehun looked at the paper given to him.

            “Oh, we have the same 10am.  History of Ancient Civilizations with Professor Kim.” Sehun looked towards the boy, “I don’t think any of his books are left. I had trouble getting mine, as it is.” The boy’s face fell. He looked worried, and Sehun noticed the way his whole existence seemed to dull. The boy seemed to physically dim a little, become a little less bright. “Uh you can look on with me if you’d like. It’ll save you trouble and money if we just share a book.” At that, the boy lit up once more. His smile almost blinding, and Sehun was certain that he didn’t imagine the light from before.

            “Thank you! I knew asking you for help would be the right thing to do.” The boy laughed a little before sticking out his hand for Sehun to shake, “I’m Baekhyun, I’m new at this school, and I’m sure we’ll be good friends.” The boy’s eyes held so much warmth, it was like Sehun was thrust into the sunlight of a summer day. Sehun couldn’t help but feel a little enchanted.

 

_Aether’s Guardian_

            Baekhyun met Sehun in the library every morning after that. And when the first major exam of the semester came up, Baekhyun met Sehun every afternoon in the library as well. They didn’t talk about much other than the material they were studying, but Baekhyun decided this was the way to help Sehun. He would take things as slow as possible, allow Sehun to get comfortable enough to open up to him, then once he found the source of Sehun’s darkness, he’d make it go away. Simple. Jongin was right, this was nothing Baekhyun couldn’t handle. He’d be back on Aether in no time.

            One rainy morning, Sehun didn’t show up to the library, or to class, or to their usual study sessions afterwards. Baekhyun wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t help someone who wasn’t there. Since they met, Sehun had always come to class. From the way professors seemed to favor him, he knew Sehun was one of the top students in their year,  probably in the entire school.  And out of the two of them, Sehun was definitely more studious than Baekhyun. Sehun was always nagging at him for getting distracted and for his messy notes. _How can you learn if your notes are a mess?_ Sehun would say, and Baekhyun would just laugh knowing that notes were useless. There was nothing a guardian didn’t already know. Baekhyun had to find Sehun. Junmyeon would surely nag him for it if he didn’t. So the guardian left the library in search of the boy shrouded in darkness.

            Because Baekhyun is a god, he really didn’t have to do much searching. All he had to do was make a quick call up to Aether and have Junmyeon tell him where Sehun was currently located. Junmyeon nagged him for losing track of Sehun, reminded him of the time crunch he was in, and nagged him again for taking the easy way out and using his guardian abilities to pinpoint Sehun instead of just looking for him like a normal human being. _He doesn’t have very many close friends, and the ones he does have, he sure doesn’t tell them where he’s going. So I had no one to ask._ Baekhyun justified his reasoning and Junmyeon just rolled his eyes as he sent Baekhyun on his way.

            The garden was nearly empty. As Baekhyun walked through the rows of flowers and trees, he called the sun to come out a little, at least to stop the rain. After crossing a small bridge lined with rows of pretty red tulips, Baekhyun came to a wooden gazebo covered in ivy and roses. Inside the gazebo, sitting on a bench, where Baekhyun’s sunlight couldn’t reach was Sehun, tucked inside his own darkness. Baekhyun didn’t go up to him, he simply stood outside by the bridge and looked in. Sehun didn’t seem to notice him. He had his head leaning against the wooden beam of the gazebo’s railing and was focused on watching the remaining raindrops trickle off the leaves of the ivy. From this distance, Baekhyun could see why things were so urgent. Sehun was covered in grey. It was like the world around him was alive with color and Sehun was an old picture in black and white. He didn’t even try to fill himself in. He didn’t try to touch the rain or the leaves or the flowers, Sehun just sat there and let things happen around him. Baekhyun wasn’t even sure Sehun was there at all. He didn’t look like himself. Today, Sehun seemed drained and tired and troubled and Baekhyun thought that perhaps Sehun wasn’t a boy at all, but some elemental thing, made by crashing rain and endless grey clouds. Crafted by Junmyeon and Jongdae.

            He got it now. Baekhyun understood. People weren’t meant to look like this. They were made to be full of life, full of colors, full of both laughter and tears. But all Sehun was, was grey. And Baekhyun needed to find out why. Slowly Baekhyun approached him. With every step he took, the darkness around Sehun lessened, and the clouds seemed to retreat. Without saying a word Baekhyun sat on the bench across from Sehun, calling the sun out further, making it shine brighter, willing it to reach Sehun’s heart.

            “Hi,” his voice was sunshine. “I found you.”

 

_Earth’s Boy_

Sehun knew Baekhyun would find him. Sehun was an expert at becoming invisible, but somehow Baekhyun always saw him, “Here I am.”

Looking over at where Baekhyun sat, Sehun felt a little dizzy. The world had suddenly become brilliant, and that was something he wasn’t used to. Whenever Baekhyun was around the world hummed. Blues got richer, reds became deeper, and the garden was ablaze with color. Baekhyun radiated life. He was practically golden in the light of the fresh sun.

“You have so much light the plants grow towards you.” Sehun closed his eyes and allowed himself to be warmed.

Baekhyun laughed and Sehun thought that if sunshine had a sound, this would be it. “Some people say I’m made up of pure light.” Baekhyun tilted his head a little, something Sehun noticed he always did when he smiled a dazzling smile.

“They’re probably right. I swear, you literally glow, Baekhyun.” Sehun couldn’t help but smile a little.

“Is everything okay? You didn’t come to school today.” Baekhyun looked a little worried now, and Sehun didn’t like how his voice sounded like storm clouds.

“Everything’s fine,” Sehun lied, “I’m just a bit tired today.” When Sehun woke this morning he could hardly see the sun, and he knew that wasn’t just because of the cloudy sky. The hole inside him was bigger today and he could physically feel the emptiness spreading. It was hallowing him out, eating him alive.

“You should rest,” Baekhyun stood from his seat, “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” Without noticing, without willing himself to, Sehun followed closely behind as the pair made their way out of the garden.

“Your house. You need to rest.” Baekhyun walked ahead confidently.

“You don’t even know where I live.”

“Then, you lead the way.”

There was something about Baekhyun that made Sehun listen to every word he spoke. He knew that if anyone else wanted to go to his house, he would stand his ground and say no. But because Baekhyun made the request, Sehun found himself boarding the train and leading the sunshine boy directly to his front door.

“Don’t expect much,” Sehun commented as he opened his front door and invited Baekhyun inside.

“What would I even be expecting?” Baekhyun’s answer filled Sehun with relief. He didn’t realize he was nervous until Baekhyun made his nerves disappear.

Maybe that was why he didn’t want anyone to come over. He didn’t want their impression of him to change. Sehun knew he wasn’t the person people thought he was. To everyone who saw him, Sehun was the perfect son his parents always wanted. They never missed the chance to boast about all his achievements and all the opportunities awaiting him after university. And it was his responsibility to uphold that reputation, to keep his parents happy and proud. But anyone who came inside his house would be able to see how empty he really was.

“I don’t know. Medals and awards lining the walls. You know, from my endless achievements.” Sehun tossed his keys in the dish on the coffee table. During their study sessions, Baekhyun had found a way to make Sehun open up a little, and Sehun had told him all about his parents and how he was the pride of the Oh family. Baekhyun had looked at him with eyes a little sad and in a small voice he said, _that’s a lot for one person to be._

Sehun left Baekhyun in the living room to look around as he pleased, and went to the kitchen to make some tea for the both of them. As the water began to boil in the kettle, Sehun heard Baekhyun’s voice again, so soft it could have been the wind, “You’re you Sehun, and that’s enough.”

 

_Aether’s Guardian_

Baekhyun knew that Sehun liked to be neat and organized. He could tell by his work and the way he carried himself. Sehun was groomed to be perfect, and it showed in every way he put forth. His apartment was no different. Everything in Sehun’s place was neatly put away. The dish on his coffee table was exactly in the middle. His blankets were folded and stowed in a basket pushed up against his sofa. His shoes were shelved neatly by the front door and his books lined his shelves in order by height. Everything Sehun owned had a place, and nothing was even slightly out of it. The only thing that stood out was the emptiness. Sehun had shelves and a desk, but neither of those held anything but books or work. His coffee table was bare except for the key dish, and his walls were completely empty. Crisp white staring back at Baekhyun.

“You don’t have any pictures.” Baekhyun commented as he walked into the kitchen to join Sehun.

“I don’t like pictures much.” Sehun replied as he fetched two mugs from the cupboard.

“What about pictures with your parents? You love them.” Baekhyun sat at the small dining table meant for two but only used for one.

“I do love them, but the only pictures I have with them are when I have an award in my hands.” Sehun took two tea bags from a box and placed them in the mugs, then he poured the water over top. “Would you like any sugar?”

“Honey, please, if you have it.” Baekhyun answered. “What about friends?”

“My friends and I are all too busy for pictures.” Sehun put the kettle in the sink and walked over to the table, cups of tea in hand.

“Everything in here is so perfect, it’s like a picture in a magazine. It’s like you don’t even live here. It’s like you don’t exist.” Baekhyun regretted the words the minute they left his lips. Junmyeon would surely nag him about choosing his words carefully.

“Sometimes,” Sehun stared down into his cup, “I wish I didn’t”.

Baekhyun stared at Sehun with wide eyes. He had never heard someone wish for something so grave. Part of his job as the guardian of light was to keep watch of the stars. He knew humans wished upon them and he had heard his fair share of thousands. Most were wishes for love or good days ahead, all pleasant things. This was the first time he’d heard a wish made of darkness.

“You don’t mean that.” Baekhyun said, trying his best to shine light into Sehun’s world of grey.

“The life I’m living isn’t really mine anyways, so I guess I don’t actually exist.” Sehun sipped his tea. He spoke the words so casually, like he wasn’t aware of the weight they held, “It’s not as nice as I thought it’d be.”

“What’s not?”

“Life.”

“You can always change that.” Baekhyun called for the light of the sun again, he called for the light of the moon and the stars, he called for all the light of the earth and the heavens and with all his power he willed it to pour into Sehun, to envelope his soul in gold.

Sehun’s darkness was unfaltering. It stood it’s ground and didn’t even flinch when Baekhyun began to glow. “The problem with my life,” Sehun looked at Baekhyun, unfazed by all the light in the room, “is that it’s someone else’s idea.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you didn't wait too long for this chapter. Please like and comment and give me any thoughts you may have! And please anticipate the next chapter!
> 
> ♥


	3. Three

_Aether’s Guardian_

 

Slowly the study sessions moved from the school library to Sehun’s apartment. Baekhyun had somehow convinced Sehun that the library was far too old and dusty for him to concentrate on work. Sehun knew this was a lie, Baekhyun couldn’t concentrate on anything anywhere, but he allowed Baekhyun inside every single time the sunshine boy showed up at his door. Baekhyun began to think that maybe, just maybe, Sehun didn’t mind his company, so Baekhyun ended up making Sehun’s apartment his little home away from home.

One particular afternoon, while Baekhyun was supposed to be tackling his ancient civilizations homework ¾ there’s nothing Baekhyun didn’t know when the countries and all its civilizations were built upon land that Kyungsoo had risen from the seas ¾ he noticed that Sehun wasn’t nagging him as much as usual.

“Hey Hunnie,” Baekhyun called in the lightest voice. Hunnie was a nickname Baekhyun used when he wanted to be gentle with Sehun. It started that day Baekhyun found Sehun in the garden, and although he was opposed to it at first, Sehun quickly warmed up to the affectionate nickname and relished in the comfort it brought him, “Look, I drew an ancient temple!” When Sehun didn’t reply, Baekhyun pushed his notebook towards Sehun, nudging his elbow.

Sehun didn’t even look down towards his paper. He stared straight ahead out of the window in his living room as a flat, “You’re supposed to working, not drawing,” left his lips.

Since that day at the garden, Baekhyun had seen plenty of Sehun’s grey days. None were as dark as that first one he experienced, but each day held an indefinite amount of grey. Today was another one of those days. Baekhyun could literally see the darkness blurring the edges of Sehun’s world and the second he stepped over the threshold into Sehun’s apartment he’d had light pouring out of his fingertips.

Baekhyun wanted to ask Sehun what he meant when he said his life wasn’t his all those days ago. He wanted to ask about Sehun’s dreams and wishes, and why he felt so strongly about disappearing. He wanted to ask Sehun about why his mind and his heart were both so sad. But he didn’t. He didn’t even mention anything that was said the day he first came to Sehun’s house. He figured Sehun would open up when he wanted to, that one day Sehun would pour his heart out to Baekhyun and they could both find a way to fix everything and expel the darkness for good. But Sehun never said anything. He never spoke of his wishes; he never spoke of where his mind goes on rainy days. They didn’t really speak of anything other than school. And that worried Baekhyun.

It worried Junmyeon too. The night before, Baekhyun was summoned back to Aether for a guardian meeting. No guardian had ever been taken away from their mission to attend a meeting unless it was a high priority. Through all the times Kyungsoo or Jongdae or Chanyeol had been to earth for a mission, none of them had ever come back until their assignment was complete. Countless meetings went by without them there and if Junmyeon needed to talk to them, he’d just call. But Baekhyun was summoned.

“You have to try harder,” Junmyeon stood at the head of the table with his arms crossed over his chest, his brow furrowed in thought, “things aren’t looking any better.”

“Well, they aren’t getting any worse, right?” Baekhyun gave an unsure smile to Junmyeon who answered with a sigh.

“Just because he’s not at his lowest doesn’t mean that he’s okay, Baekhyun.” Junmyeon was back to thinking, trying to find a solution or at least something to say that would help Baekhyun out a bit.

“I know,” Baekhyun admitted, tapping his fingertips together, “but he’s walled himself in. I warm him up as best I can, but he just won’t let me in. He won’t even begin to talk about what’s going on. I was lucky enough to even get him to tell me about his family background, and the only reason he spoke of them was because I joked that he’s basically a mom with all his nagging.” Baekhyun laughs now, remembering that day in the library. The two of them were supposed to be studying, but as always Baekhyun was goofing off and seeing how many tiny paper balls could land in the hood of Sehun’s sweater before he found out. One of the balls hit Sehun in the ear and Baekhyun’s game was discovered, leading to a solid ten-minute lecture on the importance of school and how all his hard work would pay off in the future. Baekhyun nodded and pretended to listen, all the while thinking about how much he actually sounded like Junmyeon.

“Sometimes it’s hard for people to talk about things that hurt them,” Junmyeon began. His expression became softer as he shifted from ‘leader of the guardians’ to ‘Baekhyun’s friend’.

There was such a stark difference between the two sides of Junmyeon, Baekhyun wondered how they both lived inside the same person. When Junmyeon was taking up the role of leader, he was strong and responsible and confident. Leader Junmyeon always had solutions and answers to any worries or questions the other may have. He made decisions based on the wellbeing of the world and put that before anything else. He knew his duties and carried them out especially well. A model guardian, a perfect leader. Baekhyun’s friend Junmyeon was much softer. He held the same power as Leader Junmyeon, but this power was more gentle. He offered advice and comfort to the others when they were lost. Friend Junmyeon always seemed to know how the others felt and he shared his thoughts a lot more freely. Junmyeon was a lot like a mother, strong and commanding but gentle and comforting. He was axis the earth spun on and the glue that kept the guardians together.

“But sometimes a question can open a thousand doors,” Junmyeon continued, “Even asking ‘are you okay?’ or ‘how was your day?’ can provide comfort. Letting the other person know that you want to listen is a powerful thing, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun thought back on all the times Sehun seemed troubled and how all he did was crack a joke or change the subject to try to divert his thoughts to something else. There’s a difference between being happy and being distracted from sadness, and right now all Beakhyun was doing was serving as a distraction. He thought about how he never actually told Sehun he’d listen if he ever wanted to talk, or ever really made it seem like he was willing to listen. All his assurance to Sehun had been made in whispers and soft touches, not even sure if Sehun knew they were for him, not enough for Sehun to feel.

“I think I know what to do.” Baekhyun said, confidence suddenly lacing his voice.

“Good.” Leader Junmyeon was back. He gave Baekhyun a strong smile and waved bye as Baekhyun made his way back to Earth, back to Sehun.

“Hunnie, is everything okay?” Baekhyun asked when Sehun still didn’t look down at his drawing after a second elbow nudge, “You know you can always talk to me about things, right?”

That seemed to catch Sehun’s attention and he turned to look at Baekhyun with wide eyes, “Oh, okay. Thanks.” Sehun’s eyes softened a little and Baekhyun knew that this is what Sehun needed. Comfort, guidance and opportunities.

 

_Earth’s Boy_

Sehun would never openly admit it, but he really liked having Baekhyun around. The world was lighter when Baekhyun was with him, things seemed so much prettier. His darkness a bit less heavy when Baekhyun was near, and he felt like he could breathe again. Sehun wondered how someone could give such light and warmth to everything around them, and he could only really come to one conclusion: sunshine lived inside Baekhyun.

“You know you can always talk to me about things, right?” Baekhyun’s voice was as light and as warm as a summer’s breeze, but it was clear and confident and held so much meaning, Sehun was surprised that words like these could come from Baekhyun, who up until now had always seemed to choose laughs over sentiment.

“Oh, okay. Thanks,” was all Sehun could manage to say before focusing on studying again. This was new for Sehun, someone wanting to know about him. His parents always said not to let his emotions effect his path to success, so Sehun kept personal things locked away. He ignored his feelings and covered them with hard work, letting his successes be the only things he had feelings for. But succeeding stopped bringing him happiness a long time ago. It was strange having someone ask about feelings he tried so hard not to think about.

“Actually, I have a question.” Sehun put his pen down and pushed his notebook away, not really concerned with studying anymore. Baekhyun had a way of breaking down walls, and Sehun felt his own slowly crumbling, everything held behind them on the verge of spilling over.

“Hmmm?” Baekhyun hummed in response, he was busy adding details to his temple sketch.

“How do you do it?” Sehun stretched his neck a little to look over Baekhyun’s shoulder at his drawing. His temple looked like a house drawn by a first grader.

“Do what?” The tip of Baekhyun’s tongue was slightly poking out from between his lips as he concentrated on drawing a garden next to his temple.

“Shine.”

Baekhyun stopped drawing. His eyes left the paper and landed on Sehun, wide and bright, “What do you mean?”

“You make it look so easy,” Sehun glanced down at Baekhyun’s paper, he really wasn’t good at drawing, “Being happy. Everyone always says, ‘happiness is there, you just have to choose it’, but it’s not that simple. I choose it every single day, but all it does is graze my skin as I watch it slip through my fingers.”

Baekhyun smiled down at his temple-house, “I’ve learned that happiness isn’t really something you get to, or become. It’s not a destination. Happiness is a feeling, just like being hungry or being scared or tired. It comes and goes and that’s okay. We can’t really hold on to feelings, can we?”

“That sounds sad.” Sehun’s voice was small.

“You think it sounds sad because you’re holding on to your sadness, Sehun.” Baekhyun’s eyes caught Sehun’s and held them with intensity. He could feel warmth pour inside him. “You’re only thinking about how you can’t keep happiness. But if feelings are just feelings, and if they come and go, then in retrospect, you can’t keep sadness either.”

Sehun really hadn’t thought of it that way. He thought sadness was what took over when happiness couldn’t get to you, that if you weren’t happy, then you were sad. Sehun thought sadness was just a fact about him. Like when he introduced himself to people he would say, “Hello, I’m Sehun, I’m 23, I have a dog, I’m sad, and my favorite food is pizza.” He always thought that sad is what he was, not just something he felt.

“Feelings are like cars on a road,” Baekhyun began speaking again. His voice was sure and steady, “We acknowledge them and we feel them and let them pass, happiness, sadness, fear, anger, whatever it may be. We let the cars pass and once it’s gone it’s gone. But if we reach out and grab on to one of those cars, we’ll get dragged along the road. If we run after one, we’ll get hurt. That’s how it is with feelings too. If we hold on or chase after one, we won’t welcome the others, we won’t let one pass, and we’ll get hurt in the process.”

“If the happiness you choose goes away, don’t try to make it stay. Just know that there will always be new things to be happy about. The same goes for your sadness too. It’s okay to be sad, but don’t cling to it. Let it run it’s course and once the sad thing passes, welcome the next car on the road.”

Sehun smiled a little, his mind a little more at ease, “I think I’ll have to write that down.”

“Don’t worry Hunnie, I’ll help you remember it!” Baekhyun smiled a brilliant smile and rested his head against Sehun’s shoulder, and for once all Sehun could see was gold.

 

_Aether’s Guardian_

 

Baekhyun thought he’d done it. The days after his talk with Sehun, he saw how the dark edges of Sehun’s world fluctuated from grey to white. Light had seeped into Sehun and Baekhyun could see it working inside of him, shining brilliantly. Some days were still greyer than others, but the light was always there at the very edges, the next car on the road of Sehun’s emotions. But one day, Baekhyun found Sehun back at the garden, surrounded in thick black.

“Are you okay?” Baekyun placed his hand on Sehun’s shoulder, but the boy and his darkness didn’t even flinch.

“No,” was all the came from Sehun, the blackness coming in closer.

“What happened, Sehun?” Baekhyun hoped his voice didn’t sound as terrified as he felt. He had never been this close to Sehun’s darkness before. He could feel it on his skin, trying to creep into his own body. But Baekhyun was stronger than it, and he shone bright enough to make it retreat.

“I can’t do it. I can’t just let things pass when so much depends on the outcomes of my choices.”

“I don’t understand. What are you talking about? What outcomes?”

“I have so much to uphold, so much to accomplish and be and I can’t let anything get in the way of that.” Sehun is talking fast now, his voice frantic and pleading.

“What do you mean? What’s getting in the way of that?” Baekhyun needed him to talk, needed him to explain what was going on.

“Happiness. If I let myself be happy I might just let go of everything I’ve done until now. Because this, all these awards and accomplishments, carrying my family on my back, its not what makes me happy, it’s only weighing me down. It brings me nothing but misery. My parents and their endless expectations make me want to scream,” Sehun’s voice was coming out in quivers and shakes, “but I can’t let it go and give it up to do what makes me happy, to let the happiness in. I can’t do that because those things aren’t mine alone. If I threw this all away I’d lose so much more than I’d gain. My family, my future, it would all be gone in a flash. I can’t disappoint them. I can’t throw away all the opportunities they’ve given me. I can’t hope that things will work out because nothing has ever worked out for me.”

“Sehun, you can’t keep living your life according to some else’s wants. You can’t let your parents decide what you should strive for and how you should get there. Your happiness always comes first, Sehun. That’s what’s important, not what your parents can brag about or how much money you’ll be making once you graduate university.” Baekhyun was battling with the darkness around Sehun. Willing for all the light in Aether to pour down on the two of them. But the darkness wouldn’t budge.

“You don’t understand. That’s all I have. Without that, without this sadness, I’m nothing.” Sehun’s eyes were dark now. Any trace of light that once occupied them was now gone, “I can’t be like that. I can’t be like you and let things go and come. I have too much to lose. People like me weren’t made for sunshine, Baekhyun. People like me were made for the rain.” Sehun got up to leave, darkness destroying all the light he once held. Baekhyun reached out for Sehun’s arm, tried to follow, but Sehun shrugged him off and shook his head.

Baekhyun watched him leave the garden as a clap of thunder and lightning filled the skies above.

 

_Earth’s Boy_

That night, there were no moon or stars in Sehun’s sky. And when he woke, there was no sun. All he could see, was black.

 

_Aether’s Guardian_

Baekhyun had a visitor when he returned to his temporary home for the night. Jongin was sitting on his bed flipping through a book when Baekhyun entered the front door.

“Hopefully whenever I come down here for a mission, Junmyeonnie hyung will put me in a five-star hotel. This is kind of sad compared to what we’re used to.” Jongin lauged a little, trying to make Baekhyun feel at ease.

“Doubt it,” Baekhyun kicked off his shoes and pushed Jongin over, making room for himself on the bed, “this is the same kind of place Chanyeol, Minseok and Kyungsoo get too. I’m pretty sure even Junmyeon stays in places like this.”

“Well that sucks. How can he expect us to sleep on this,” Jongin bounced on the bed which creaked under his weight, and thuds instead of cushions, “when we literally have beds made of clouds back home?”

“We aren’t meant to stay here so long. Our missions are supposed to be wrapped up rather quickly.” Baekhyun sighed and buried his face in the flat pillow, “what are you doing here anyway?”

Jongin hopped off the bed and walked out of the room, examining the rest of the apartment. It’s not like the temporary homes Junmyeon makes available for visiting guardians are bad, they just aren’t what guardians are used to is all. By human standards, the apartment would be rather nice. It has all the necessities, a big bedroom with large windows, a bathroom with a tub and shower, a walk in closet and a living room with relatively comfy couches and wide screen TV. But guardians don’t really need things like TVs and sofas. And they surely don’t sleep on mattresses. Baekhyun, and the rest of the guardians, don’t really have to sleep, but when they choose to it’s on beds of clouds. They don’t have time for things like TV because there’s always work to be done, and if they do have some free time, they’re usually hanging out together telling stories or picking on Junmyeon. Life in the clouds is never normal and always fun, and hardly empty. Here on earth though, it’s just Baekhyun and he can understand why humans could need things like video games and movies.

“I’m here because I figured you’d want see me right now, rather than Junmyeonnie hyung.” Jongin sauntered back into the bedroom and sat on the desk chair opposite Baekhyun’s bed.

Baekhyun groaned, “How much trouble am I in?”

“I wouldn’t say you’re in trouble,” Jongin’s fingers danced across Baekhyun’s desk, he was never one to sit still. “But Junmyeonnie hyung isn’t exactly happy with the way things are going either.”

“I know, I know. It’s not like I did this on purpose. I tried my hardest, but I can’t get through.” Baekhyun buried his face back into the pillow, his voice muffled.

“Byun Baekhyun, are you giving up?” Jongin feigned surprise and wheeled the chair over towards the bed.

“I don’t know. Maybe? I just don’t know how to fix this? Can Sehun even be helped?”

A small tingling pain ran up Baekhyun’s leg as Jongin dealt him a small hit, “Of course he can be helped! You just have to give it time. You can’t expect one talk to cure everything. Healing is a process, Baekhyun. It’s not like you can use your powers and heal him. He has to want to heal too.”

Jongin goofed off just as much as Baekhyun, but there was always another level to him that Baekhyun couldn’t match, and this was it. Jongin was able to understand humanity well, probably because he dealt with them more than any of the other guardians. He understood that with humans, things had to be taken slowly. He had a patience that Baekhyun lacked.

“He needs something to make him _want_ to take the chance at happiness. Right now, he’s comfortable in his sadness because that’s all he thinks he can get.” Jongin’s words were so impactful, but the guardian looked at ease while speaking them. He was doing a little dance as he spoke.

“I wish I could show him how I see things. I wish I could show him his darkness, how thick it is and how little time he has. He thinks all he has to do is make his parents happy and things will be fine, but that’s not how it works,” Baekhyun sat up now, watching Jongin dance across the floor, “If he keeps going this way he’s going to lose himself entirely. He’s going to destroy himself living like this, and one day he won’t be able to come back.”

“Then show him.” Jongin said it so simply, like it was the most obvious answer in the universe.

“You know I can’t do that.” Baekhyun plopped back down on the mattress, searching his brain for another answer.

“Maybe seeing what awaits him will be what makes him take that chance.”

“You’re crazy. To do that I’d have to reveal myself and you know we aren’t supposed to let our presence be known.”

Jongin stopped his dance and sat next to Baekhyun on the bed, “This seems like an emergency situation to me. You said yourself, he doesn’t have much time left before the darkness takes over. If this is the way you can restore things, so be it.”

“Junmyeon would never allow it. He’d rather I fail than throw our existence in the faces of humanity.” Baekhyun kicked Jongin with his foot, retaliation for a stupid idea.

“It wouldn’t be to humanity, just to Sehun. And really, would he rather you fail and have the whole universe out of balance? I think not.” Jongin tickled the bottom of Baekhyun’s foot, revenge for revenge. “Besides I’m sure Junmyeonnie hyung could like zap his memory or something.”

Baekhyun laughed, “First of all we aren’t the men in black, second of all he’s guardian of the seas, I don’t think he has the jurisdiction to erase memory.”

“I’m sure he can think of something, Junmyeonnie hyung is a very powerful man.” Jongin rose from the bed and made his way to the door, “You can ask him at the meeting tomorrow.”

“What?!” Baekhyun shot up from the bed and bee lined straight for Jongin, arms out ready to possibly strangle him.

“Oh yeah, that’s the real reason I’m here. You’ve been summoned. Again.” Jongin slipped on his shoes and opened the door, “See you tomorrow Baek!” and with a gorgeous smile he was gone, faster than Baekhyun had ever seen him leave before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me and waiting for this chapter. As always, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Please like and comment if you'd like. And please anticipate the next chapter.
> 
> ♥


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